The Fifth Letter From Jan Wouterss, To His Wife And Daughter.

I further cannot forbear, but must greatly thank you, my dearest, only wife, for having been such a dear, faithful wife to me, for more than nine years; the time has passed away so rapidly, that I am surprised. I have had such joy in my heart because of your love, that I could never fully thank the Lord for his grace; yea, I thought, that though the hairs of my head and the grass of the earth were tongues, I could not fully thank his goodness: I should remain his debtor. But however much I loved you, I had to limit it, in order that if it should come to what it has now come, I might overcome the parting.

Again, I loved my daughter rather more than I showed; I dared not set my affection too much upon her, in order that when I should have to part from her, as the Lord has ordered in regard to me, unworthy one, the bitter parting should not overcome me. But now that the Lord has called me to this state, I will commit you both, my dearest lambs, 870 to the Lord of lords, and beseech his grace to keep you both from the evil, and to bring you into his everlasting kingdom. Amen.

But, alas! I have often regretted, and do still regret, that I, miserable, man have not walked more holy and perfectly with you. Do as I would, I always fell far short; so that I did not struggle through all the years of my faith without stumbling or falling. But the rich God, seeing my good intention, according to his mercy lifted me up again, for he is willing to forgive, as I also gladly forgive, and his promise is sure: If we forgive men their trespasses, he will also forgive us our trespasses. Matt. 6:14. When I thus felt my own deficiency, it caused me to keep myself in humility, and to bow myself under the mighty hand of God, and it was an admonition to me to be zealous in my calling. While I was in a good determination, the Lord of lords came, for which eternal praise be to him; and I often pray him to forgive those who named, delivered, and apprehended me; I forgive them all. O my beloved wife, this I must also heartily pray you yet, that you will likewise thus forgive them that have sinned against me, and caused your grief; for if you forgave not, I think you should prevent the Lord your and my God from forgiving your debt; hence I beseech you to forgive it from the heart. And pray for them that afflict you, and you will be a good sister in Christ. Make God your debtor, and he will also forgive your debt; for we need daily forgiveness, because we are frail.

But I am also daily afflicted in this, that our dear church—many poor souls—are scattered so, and must wander about in foreign countries, yea, some of them having nothing to lay hold of, and yet the poor children must be fed. O there is a lack of cheerful givers in this distressing time.

Nothing special further for this time; but I commend you now and forever to the Lord, and to the rich word of his grace, who is so able to keep you from the evil, and to bring you into his everlasting kingdom. Amen. I greet you most affectionately in the Lord with the kiss of love and peace, and this in the heart, as present with you in spirit. Bid our beloved daughter much good night in my name, and tell her to comfort her mother, and if she is an obedient daughter, learns diligently to read, and then also to write, and then helps her dear mother to gain a livelihood, I shall love her. Greet much in my name, in the Lord, all the godfearing that ask you concerning me; tell them to be of good cheer all of them, and to hope and trust in the Lord, for his hand is not shortened, this I now realize. Let therefore no one fear mortal man, but much rather the immortal God. I have confessed the faith, not sought my life, freely and openly confessed Christ before this sinful people, for a testimony unto them, that they may have no excuse to make in the day of Christ.

The Bailiff asked me, whether I would not renounce my faith; that they would then give me back my liberty, so that I could gain a livelihood for my wife and child as before: “you are yet a young man,” said he, “you can raise children yet, and increase the world.” I answered, that I did not wish to renounce. The Bailiff said: “Do you not want to live, then?” “Yes, my lord, but I will not renounce my faith for anything in the world.” In going he said that I erred; he would prove to me from history, that the doctrine which I said in the time of the apostles was called the sect of the Nazarenes, is openly contradicted; you must see that our faith has existed for so many centuries, and been handed down from generation to generation. I said, “I do not look at the years, but at the truth.” Thus we parted.